Receiving gifts is way over-rated. There have been a few things people have given me that have changed my life in a good way, but then there are all those others.

When I think back on my best gifts ever, a few come to mind. Every new dress my Mom ever created for me transformed me into a princess. Every kitten that curled itself into a ball and purred within my lap lifted me beyond the couch onto a cloud. That first car and every one that followed brought a delicious sense of freedom and the possibility of speeding beyond the tedious.

Then there are all those highly anticipated items that went almost instantly from their beautifully wrapped containers into my trash heap or someone else’s trash. I’ve had a few semi-valuable items that have been placed in spots where they could be admired often. Some have crashed to the floor and were swept up in pieces. There is a definite freedom that is released when a once cherished item sits no longer on a shelf.

There are such precious gifts, the ones that that can never be lost, such as the morning sun shining more artistically than ever before, the time in the garden with my mother as she helped me choose the perfect daffodil for my teacher, and the memories of days spent on camels, snowmobiles and beaches.

Then there is Joel: the greatest gift of all. He is in a constant state of unwrapping. He surprises me, and I think he surprises himself. He came to me around my 40th birthday, give or take several months. I regret that the giver of the gift took so long, but 40 is a lot better than 70.

With Joel, life is a constant game. The playing fields are always changing. The uniforms range from non-existent to skimpy to multi-layered. The only rule is to strive for a perfect balance of being true to myself while letting him be true to himself. When surrendering is in competition with what I think is my truth, I let surrendering win. The only important score is the one I give myself. The only goal is love.