This morning, I discovered a way I could stay in Appenzell. During breakfast, I slipped an orange and banana into my purse, knowing the hotel would certainly call the troops and turn me in. I heard that the Appenzell prison is mountaintop. What a perfect place for practicing my yodeling and perfecting my communication with the cows!

Well, it happened. These are the troops coming to get me. That is the town square right in front of our hotel. Those guys in the second row look pretty excited about taking me prisoner.

This guy winking at me is the one who took the phone call from the hotel’s security officer.

Here’s a proud corporal taking a picture for his admiral to prove that I have been captured.

Well, all good things must come to an end. This recruit’s wife is American, and he recognized that I also am American. In Appenzell, Americans cannot be imprisoned. I was set free. I must admit that I was relieved.

This woman is upset because she felt anyone with hair redder than hers should definitely go to prison. The band came out to celebrate my release.